I’m baaaa-aaaack! Greeting fellow aficionados and a Happy New Year to you all! My first resolution for the new year is to re-establish my blog, Blood and Guts for Grown-Ups. Saucy Josh needed a vacation to get divorced and go through some personal shite, but I’m back from outer space and stronger for it all. While I’ve continued my life as an uber-Horror fan, amassing quite an impressive personal collection of DVD’s and memorobilia, I’ve missed having an outlet to share ideas. I’ve missed… THIS! Thanks so much for checking me out again. Let’s have some fun in 2014! To that end, let’s look back on the best of 2013 after the jump. Mama: A bit too much CGI, but a wonderful treat for Del Toro fans. More than makes up for 2012’s lackluster Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. Evil Dead: I was ready to hate it, but I just fucking loved it. Never a dull moment. Be sure to watch the “stinger” after the credits for clues as to where the franchise will go next. Texas Chainsaw 3-D: Pretty much universally panned, but fuck you, I liked it. Sure the entire tragedy could have been avoided if the protagonist had simply read the letter given to her in the film’s first 15 minutes, but whatever, fuck you. Best portrayal of Leather Face as a horrifying yet tragic (and aging) antihero. Fuck you. The Purge: Normally any movie starring Ethan Hawke would be considered a waste of time (especially after that snore-fest Sinister), but The Purge really tickled my fancy. I like the futuristic, dystopian spin on the Home-Invasion sub-genre of Horror. American Mary: I’m not sure if this really is one of the 10 best Horror films of 2013 or if I just feel pressured into including it because it’s been on everyone else’s Top 10 lists and I want to seem “Indie-Cool” too. Or maybe it’s just my fan-boy crush on the creepy twin Soska Sisters who wrote and directed. The Conjuring: Fantastic big-studio Horror flick released in the Summertime. Hopefully, this will inspire other major studios to grow some balls and produce more Horrors as potential blockbusters. Europa Report: Definitely more Sci-Fi than Horror, Europa Report was probably my favorite film of 2013 in any genre. Still, there are plenty of horrors to face on this hyper-realistic space odyssey. Gravity-Shmavity, Europa Report puts that cheesy ridiculousness to shame. You’re Next: This festival darling had been caught in release-date Limbo for over 2 years, so I was really excited to finally have a chance to see what all the fuss was about. Did not disappoint.
V/H/S/2: Everyone raved about the evil cult segment, but my favorite part of this anthology was the Slumber Party Alien Abduction. Part 2 is just as eerie and gritty as its predecessor with much better continuity. Blackfish: Not technically a Horror, this documentary about the history of captive killer whales got my heart pounding like nothing else. Proof that real life atrocities are more horrifying than anything perverted writers/directors can think up. Not to mention it feels sort of like watching a snuff film. Honorable Mentions: My Amityville Horror (documentary about Danny Lutz who lived in the infamous haunted house with his parents when he was 12), Aftershock (brutal natural disaster morality tale from one of my favorites, Eli Roth), The ABC’s of Death (a rip-roaring good time of an anthology), Insidious Chapter 2 (great follow-up) and Curse of Chucky (it was really scary—fuck you).