Make sure you read the title of this article correctly. This is NOT a list of my Top 10 favorite Zombie Films (the web is already awash in those). This is my Top 10 favorite Zombie CHARACTERS in film. I know it might be hard to get your brain around at first. I mean, Zombies often appear in hordes of dozens or hundreds—sometimes even thousands! How can one Undead differentiate himself from another? It’s true that when you’ve seen a lot of Zombie movies, they all tend to sort of blur together. But when you’re a true Horror aficionado, you start to notice some stand-outs, individual Zombies that have a unique look, or personality. Some of them even have names!
Meet my 10 favorite flesh munchers after the jump…
The Little Girl from Night of the Living Dead: We all know that with Night of the Living Dead, George A. Romero basically defined the modern Zombie. The majority of the undead shamblers in this film are quite similar (or perhaps seem especially similar since this film was shot in black & white). The obvious stand out, of course, is the little girl. Having been bitten by a Zombie, this poor young lass dies during the siege and her body is stored in the basement (along with the body of her dead father). Perhaps the most shocking moment of the film is when survivors discover that the little girl has come
back from the dead and is feasting on her father’s body. Cold flesh might be good, but the young lass soon turns her attention to the warm-blooded living.
Like child ghost, child Zombies are hella scary!
Dr. Tongue from Day of the Dead: Eat your heart out Gene Simmons! One of the most iconic Zombies in film history is Dr. Tongue from Day of the Dead. We know nothing of his history, but we’ll never forget that mug! Since his lower jaw has been severely dislocated, his tongue protrudes down to his Adam’s-apple. Dr. Tongue has been the subject of numerous figurines, art-pieces, and even tattoos. I remember when I was a only a lad, Fangoria Magazine released a 2-page glossy spread of Dr. Tongue in all of his disgusting glory. Unfortunately, I can’t seem to find a really decent picture of him online. Sorry.
The Old Lady from [REC]: God damn you’re scary! We’ve seen old lady Zombies and we’ve seen screaming rabid Zombies, but you’re the whole ball of wax! Just imagine your grandma became a Zombie and came after you with such a furry, even a volley of bullets couldn’t slow her down. With wild white eyes and a nightgown covered in blood, this is one terrifying chika!
The Dead Girl from Deadgirl: It’s not that the Dead Girl in Deadgirl is especially cool or terrifying or original. What makes her so unique is the sympathy she elicits from the audience. Normally, we’re happy to see a Zombie get batter, beaten, and obliterated, but not this time. The Dead Girl is actually the victim in this film, and the human adolescents are the true monsters. Not that Dead Girl can’t get super nasty when necessary, gutting a dog and biting one kid’s nose clean off his face! Deadgirl is a very controversial film and I can not recommend it for those with delicate sensibilities.
Tarman from Return of the Living Dead: Another iconic Zombie, Tarman’s claim to fame is that he’s the first to infamously groan, “BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINS…”
Bub from Day of the Dead: Bub is a Zombie who has been recruited into a scientific experiment in an underground lab. Scientists are hoping to prove that Zombies can be rehabilitated and retrained to perform simple tasks. Bub’s success is arguable. The idea of human and Zombie coexistence is revisited by George A. Romero in Survival of the Dead.
Fido from Fido: Another “rehabilitated” Zombie is the title character in Fido. It amazes me that Fido isn’t on more Top 10 Zombie Movie lists, as it’s a total scream. Horror comedy and satire galore. Whereas Day of the Dead takes place in the present/future, Fido exists in an alternative past. It’s the 50’s, but instead of nuclear duck and cover drills, school kids practice Zombie survival. Fido is more than just a functional Zombie, or a pet. He is a friend, a father figure—and even a lover. This movie is so freakin’ good.
Trash from Return of the Living Dead: If I’m honest, I’ve got to admit that Trash is the only Zombie who made it into my teenage “spank-bank”. An exhibitionist slut in “real life”, she’s personification of sex and death. Trash entered my subconscious right around puberty. Even though my fondness for Trash has waned over the years, I still consider her the sexiest Zombie in Horror movie history. I also love the fact that when she bites into a victim’s skull, it sounds like she’s crunching a nice crisp apple. Yummy!
Infant Zombie from Dawn of the Dead (Remake): Ever wonder what happens to a fetus if his mother is infected by a Zombie?
Jason Voorhees from Friday the 13th: What do you mean Jason isn’t a Zombie? He died and came back to life didn’t he? His body is decomposing, but he still has mad super-human strength doesn’t he? You might say, “Yeah, but Jason doesn’t eat human flesh”. You might be right, but think about it: Have you ever seen Jason eat? I haven’t. Not a single bite. So for all we know, he is eating human flesh—he’s just being discrete about it.
So what do you think? Have I missed any iconic Zombies?
That’s it for this week’s addition of Blood and Guts for Grown Ups. See you next week my pretties. Have a fun and safe Halloween weekend. Saucy Josh loves you.